I just need some space— no pun intended
Dear Headspace,
It’s time we had a talk. I’ve been doing alot of self-reflecting lately and it’s wild that we’ve been together for so long, but lately I’ve been and I just don’t know if I need you anymore. Ouch, I know that’s harsh. But the more work I do on my own—creating boundaries, releasing trauma, etc—I realize that besides the fact I have to reach for the main source of constant distraction– my PHONE —to talk to you, $95.99 a year is a ton of money for a meditation app.
When we first started our relationship, it was so exciting to be on this mindfulness journey together. I drooled over the libraries of content you offered at first glance, but it’s become clear that I’ve cycled between trying to cure anxiety to improve sleep to practicing gratitude, all without making much real progress at all.
Don’t get me wrong! I am so grateful for all the support and great memories we have together, like that time I had an anxiety attack at Trader Joe’s when I found out my dad was in the hospital. Or through that particularly tough breakup with my narcissistic ex. You have always been there, patiently waiting in my pocket, through so many terribly anxious moments and I thank you for that.
But, lately, you’ve been really smothering. I give you anywhere from five to thirty minutes a day of uninterrupted attention a day, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough! The truth is, I’ve begun seeing someone else—myself. Yes, I have been spending time, sitting quietly with myself, just using my analog watch to time myself. And I have to admit, I’m really happy with me.
So, here we are. I think it’s about time we started seeing other people. I mean I know you are already seeing a million other people, so I am not too worried that you’ll be just fine without me. And me? I am going to start going back to meditating on my own and in group session. Deleting you will be really hard but please know that I will think of you the next time I have a freakout at work, or get stuck in traffic.
It’s time for me to spend some time alone, finding myself– hence my “Quest for Calm.” I wish you the best, and hope we can still be friends.
Namaste
P.S: I am loving the Happy on High 7-Day Meditation Challenge, just short 3-5 guided meditations I can do in my own time. No notifications needed!
